1. |
1993
03:35
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My nihilist side likes the modern times,
It’s so dystopian,
But the nostalgist in me
Likes to think it’s nineteen-ninety-three
Kurt was still alive,
I was still a child watching Nickelodeon
And I hadn’t yet dipped my toes in
Romanticising suicide
The children born entirely in code,
I wonder what they’d think of how
We used to speak so free
And draw opinions from adversaries
When art was still alive
Life was genuine,
The film already had the grain,
And we filtered our coffee
Out with friends
Way back when in ninety-three
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2. |
Ritual Bones
04:13
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No I don’t think the same as my friends anymore
How they revel in eating their own
And they only align with my machine heart
And my tired ritual bones
I don’t sleep anymore on Sunday nights
And I’d rather drink on my own
Performative friends in an eggshell town
And my tired, ritual bones
And the pickets won’t stay white
I’m evolving my appetite
I will strip the gift horse for its meat
If it keeps my brain alive
No I don’t wonder if I’m OK anymore
I was broken forever ago
But we’re all in a chamber somewhere vile
Deifying ritual bones
And the pickets won’t stay white
I’m evolving my appetite
I will strip the gift horse for its meat
If it keeps my brain alive
And the ego's a china doll
With a crack across its skull
I’ll press shards to my palms if it means the collapse
Of my tired ritual bones
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3. |
Born Anew
03:58
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Which of my many faces
Which of my many mouths
Give form to original thinking
If the other faces allow?
The others are busy performing
In varying societal scenes
But which endlessly multiplying
Opinion is coming from me?
Kill off your tribe
And you’ll be born anew
Which of my various voices
And which of my varying roles
Cementing an outward perception
Is gladly assuming control?
The terror of never belonging
To anyone’s bottomless feed
Censor my tongue numb my instinct
I beg of you, keep needing me
Kill off your tribe
And you’ll be born anew
And you’ll sleep sound again
Knowing you’re really you
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4. |
Anything Else
04:00
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Sell me a different wild dream
Pawn me anything else
Go check what else you’ve got there
I’ll take anything else
I’ll make the payments good
I’ll do whatever makes me understood
Lend me the subject of envy
Who’s so good at everything else
Empty in eras of plenty
I still chase everything else
I’ll make the payments good
I’ll do whatever makes me understood
I have to know I could
That I’m not living the wrong adulthood
Sell me the moment of meaning
You hand out to everyone else
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5. |
Row
03:40
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Flatten the earth so they’re right all along
Compress the mountains and silence the birdsong and
Pack up the the furniture, load up the van
Give me a boat and an oar and I promise
I’ll row and row and row into the night
I swear I’ll row and row and row right off the side
Flatten the earth so the oceans give way
Give it an underside, flatten the clay so the
Horrified panicking people can’t hide
Give me a boat and an oar and I promise
You’ll know my face
And they'll scream my name
And I'll meet your gaze
When I undo your mistakes
Fold up the net of the space on the plane
Pluck out the stars and the planets and you could
Reclaim all the molecules, start with a bang
Build me a boat and oar and I promise
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6. |
Twenty-Six
04:10
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A treadmill through somebody else’s dream
How am I still allowed to drive?
Automation handles every word
And free will left through my left eye
One day I blinked and I was twenty-six
The milky lens, a veil between the worlds
Drains the colour, kills the hue
I steer my flesh suit from behind my face
A toy inside a clear balloon
One day I blinked and I was twenty-six
One day I blinked, the world, it went to shit
You’re not real
If you were, I’d still feel
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7. |
Coal
03:56
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There’s soot on the lungs
A shadow of my age
The same shade of midnight
As the coal on my brain
There’s tar in my stomach
In the shape of a violent rage
A toxin too thick for
The leech on my veins
Shake off your shadow
Break what retrains you
Draw out your bad cells
Burn them and see what they turn into
There’s soot on my table
And dust on the doorstep
Coal on my mantle
Black burns on the carpet
Tar on the bedsheets
I’ve started to cough it up
And spread the infection
To those which I love
Shake off your shadow
Break what retrains you
Draw out your bad cells
Burn them and see what they turn into
Shake off your shadow
Shed all your dead skin
Dance in the fire
Draw with the charcoal you’re carrying
The soot on my lungs
Established and here to stay
Whose dark makes the midnight
As strong as the day
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8. |
Parallel Lines
04:28
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There are simultaneous threads
Running side by side
They start with choice and circumstance
And they multiply
Think of all the potential futures lost
To linear time
So move sideways into another
Of your parallel lines
You could cross them like wires
If you wanted to
I’ve done it a handful of times seeing a country
I’ve cherished since my youth
Or when a dream’s so vivid
It’s so much more than life
That’s how it feels to fall out
Into a parallel line
But you may use them dreadful
When your nature unfurls
And you tear the fibres blame another you
From a parallel world
So you absolve yourself
Cause you felt so alive
As you sample the stories that live elsewhere
On your parallel lines
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9. |
Fractious Divides
03:37
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You’d wear my shoes
I’d wear yours too we’d run for miles
If we fell over
We’d share a shoulder at one time
You’d not assume to know the struggle of my town from line of sight
We’d share our wealth
Before our fractious divides
You’d tie my tie
Go arm in arm into the night
We’d share our space
And share our places in the wild
Apologies were not a requisite there was not daily trial
We’d toast to our health
Before our fractious divides
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10. |
Offy (I'm Fine)
03:14
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I won’t cry on the bed anymore
I feel so much more when I’m lying on the floor
I got dressed for the offy this morning
But tomorrow I’ll make it past the hall
I don’t trust their medicine
So I’ll acquire my own
And signal to everyone
I'm fine
I won’t laugh in the same way I did
I don’t want to give impressions that I’m covering
It’s no fun when you’re numb in the morning
So tomorrow I’ll do the same again
I don’t trust their medicine
So I’ll acquire my own
And signal to everyone
I’m not on my own
So tap twice continue on
Drinking your wine
I signal to everyone
I’m fine
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E L L London, UK
E L L is the songwriting/production alias of media composer Elliot Nicklin. His debut album 'Coal' [2020] dealt with
narratives of social isolation, political tribalism and mental health.
His upcoming sophomore LP ‘eloquent void’ is a multi-genre project tracing existential themes through a diverse array of sounds and influences.
... more
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